Waiting For My Future Husband

Alright Guys! :) On the side of my blog I had a poll going for a couple of days about topics that you would like to hear me talk about here on my blog. And the winner was "Waiting for My Future Husband". :) Sooo.. here we go!

It all started after I got out of a bad relationship, it was so difficult for me to not have someone there for me. So I continued to cling to boy after boy, thinking that would make me feel loved and accepted. Once I would get close to another guy, my heart would hurt, and my concience would go crazy! Its hard to explain but its just one of those feelings that you know when something just isnt right. Nights would go by and I would be so upset, and I would think these questions to myself...
-Why wont a boy like me?
-Am I ever going to get married??
-Why isnt this working??
And along with those questions came these statements...
-Im too fat for any guy to love me
-Im not pretty enough for someone
-Im too wierd
-No one likes me
And the list could go on and on.... pretty sad huh?! Typing about my past is really hard for me, and now I am realizing it more and more as I get further into this blog.

***Sidenote.... during my bad relationship I turned my back on God, and turned away from the Catholic Faith as well. I thought that if I had sex with my boyfriend at the time that it was ok because he loved me, and God would forgive me. Not a problem! MAN I WAS SO STUPID! Thank God I DID NOT give up my virginity to him. That I am so thankful for!

So slowly after all of those short little "flings" with boys came and went I started going to Youth Group. It wasnt until the first trip to MOA and Lifeline *Teen Mass In St. Paul* that things started to change. A few ladies had an AMAZING talk with our wonderful youth minister Kym in the car on the way down and on the way back. This is one day and talk that I will never forget. It wasnt until I had a min to talk to Kym just one on one that she just talked to me. She didnt talk AT me she talked TO me. Telling me her story, and so much more. And then, it all just came out, I told her what was going on and how I didnt know what to do anymore. I told her my doubts and my fears. And what I was shocked about was that she told me she knew how I felt! Kym made me feel so much better that night and helped me turn back. And to this day I'm not sure if she knows fully how much she changed my life that night, and how much she continues to change it for the better on a daily basis.

Then Kym introduced me to this book titled "When God Writes Your Love Story". Which is written by a married couple. I LOVED THE BOOK! :) It was so amazing to hear that things do happen through God, Faith and patience.

So after I finished the book I made a list of all of the things that I want in my future husband. :) It made me feel different, but in such a good way though. I have always thought that I have to sink down to a guy's level to get him to like me and be with me. But man was I wrong.

So from that day on, I look back at that list and remind myself that God has MY future husband out there for me, and he will bring us together in his time :) I also make sure to pray for him :) which is very important.  And when Im sad, happy, excited, and so much more I sit down and write him letters. Telling him how much I love him and miss him. And now I know you are asking "How can you love him and not have even met him yet?!?" And I answer that once I started loving the Lord, I started loving my future husband. Its through that love that i have for my savior, and how much i fall more and more in love with him, that I love my future husband. Because the Lord is the writer of our love story. ***I hope that makes sense! :) Hard to explain***

I have also made another big commitment, that being waiting to have Sex until marriage. And for some odd reason society portrays it that teenagers CANNOT abstain... I find that hurtful and incorrect. I'm abstaining, im waiting :) My future husband deserves that gift that God intended for him :)

BELIEVE ME guys it gets soo hard! Im not going to lie! Some days im like "Ok are you here yet?!?" haha ;) but i know i have to wait which is hard but well worth it. So I plan on sitting and waiting for my Prince Charming to come to me. Im not dating anyone else. I dont care how long it takes. God has a plan for me and him :)

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans for you to prosper, not to woe. To give you Hope and a Future"-- Jeremiah 29:11 :)

"There is a love, unabiding love, more than your dreaming of. And all you are is his hearts desire, beloved beautiful."- Jesse Manibusen "Maria"

"Im waiting, Im waiting on you Lord, and I am hopeful. Im waiting on you Lord though it is painful. But patiently I will wait."-- "While Im Waiting" From the movie Fireproof

"Wait on Me, My princess. My timing is always perfect. I know you're anxious about many things, and I see your passion for all the plans I have put in your heart. I know that you long to fly, and I see your enthusiasm. However, just as a vinedresser nurtures the vine and waits patiently for the right moment to harvest the grapes, so too am I working tirelessly to prepare you to bear much fruit. Don't run ahead of Me or try to fly before My plans are complete. Your strength will fail you, and your dreams will wither away. Trust Me that My dreams for you are far greater than you can dream on your own. You will run farther and soar higher if you will patiently wait for the season of My blessing. Draw close to Me now, and I promise that this season of waiting will bring you the sweetest of rewards.

Love,


Your Kind and Lord of perfect timings"


But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. - Isaiah 40:31
 
Thank you all for taking time to read this blog, and I hope that I fullfilled what you were looking for when you voted on that poll. :) 
God Bless!
 
Ashley