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Hey all.
To be honest i could not come up with a title for this post.... :( so here i am spilling my guts to you guys right now...

Yesterday i had lots of fun with my girls shopping and doing all that fun stuff!  I am so blessed to have such great friends! :)

Then we went to Grand March....
my heart sank... i thought that i would be able to handle all of this not going to prom, and that it wasnt going to be as bad as i thought.. but i was def wrong... 
seeing all of the happy people together I dont know what came over me but it was hard to watch. Everyone looked to great and i was soo happy for everyone there but thats when the little green monster- jealousy got into me.

I am soooo impatient and i bet you all are sick of hearing me moan and complain about this but its pretty hard. I am waiting for the future husband that God has in store for me, if thats what i am called to, if not then  I will be a nun if that is God's plan for my life. But its hard not to want and long for a relationship currently even...... ahhh i am soooo screwed up!!!!!

I cried it out with my mom last night and i thought today would be better and it semi is, but its still tugging at my heart.... goodness....

I guess its just hard for me to see certain people that i know, get everything they absolutley want.... When i cant get a simple date to Prom.....

Sorry for all the moaning and complaining, but i feel like crap and i gotta let it out... :(
God bless,
Ashley

Who Needs Prom When You Have.....

These amazing ladies!! :) YAY for girls day 2010!!! :)

God Bless,

Ashley

Prom 2010

Hey all! :)

So here i go bearing my soul....
All around school all you hear about is Prom 2010..... and for me all it does is make me sad. And the thing of it all is that i DONT WANT TO BE SAD ABOUT IT! But yet inside thats what happens. I was determined not to let myself be drug down by the fact that i do not have a date, and i know that no one is gonna ask me so why even bother! But man saying that is easier than doing! I cannot help but be depressed about not having a date, which i HATE to admit.... so i broke down on tuesday night while my mom tried to comfort me, and all i could say through tears was "I hate crying about this its stupid!!!" Its hard to come to terms with things like this and it really sucks. Days like that and tonight where i feel soo cruddy about myself and I HATE IT! I dont feel pretty, i feel ugly and undesireable, i do not see the shrinking of my stomach, all i see is more skin, and it sucks! All i want is for someone to truly care about me, and thats why i am waiting for my future husband, but somedays like today.... its so hard..

What do you think??
God Bless,
Ashley