Persecution

Hello All!
Sorry for the late posting-I feel like I say that many times! haha

Today I needed to get something off of my chest...

A few weeks ago I woke up on a sunday morning to get ready to go to Mass. I rolled over to check my phone and I saw that I had missed a call and had a voicemail. I first look to check and see who the call was from and it read "private number", so I called my voicemail to listen to the message. I dont want to quote the message word for word because of the offensive nature, but I will give you the jist of what the message said.

The message went on with lots of profanity, talking about how whoever this person was who left the voicemail, had apparently had sex with many people that current night. This person procceeded to make my faith into a sexual reference, using things like "Hail Mary & Bless Me" in sexual ways, which still to this day irritate me.

I have no idea who left this voicemail and there was nothing my wireless provider Verizon would do about it sadly.

It was really hard to hear and listen to. Also to think that people would attack me in such ways. Eventually I have turned this into a postive. Looking at the fact that the Bible says:

 "Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 5:10

"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me" Matthew 5:11

Reading things like this remind me that I am blessed because I have been persecuted because of Him, but in all honesty, there is nothing else I'd rather be persecuted for :)

God Bless,
Ashley

What I am trying to discover..

Hello All!!!

Something that i have been trying to discover through counseling is why I really never take care of myself or love me for me. I am always taking care of others, and in all honesty I'd rather do that!!! But through counseling it is really starting to change my perspective. I am starting to see that I am worth taking care of and loving, as well as letting other people love and take care of me.

My Goals that my counselor and I listed are:

1. Take Care Of Myself

• To know I have accomplished this is: That i can feel better about myself, and I dont let people walk on me anymore.

1. Love Myself for Who I am

• To know I have accomplished this is: to be able to accept compliments, and surround myself with people who truly care about me.

I cannot wait to become stronger and a more positive person! :) Please keep praying!!!
Now I want to leave you with something I wrote when I was searching for confidence and trying to show people how to be confident as well as my struggle with guys, oh goodness how young i was ;) This was from 2008 :) & dont worry, I now know I dont need a man, only one big and mighty one :)

2008


.by Ashley Walz on Thursday, January 1, 2009 at 7:05pm.After every year goes by things seem to get a little better. At the same time, the things that you don't think will ever happen to you do...

"What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger"

That is basically the truth. Things get tough and i catch myself wondering "What did i do to have this happen to me?!" and i tend to get upset, sad, and angry all at the same time. Honestly im not sure how to deal with it. All the things i hold up inside seem to go away, but some how, different things give me and unwanted flash back of the past.



Another thing that i have learned is that you have to love yourself before you can let anyone else love you. It was something for awhile i didn't realize. I was going after that attention and i would get this feeling in the pit of my stomach that was making me feel that dating someone new all of a sudden wasn't a good thing. And you know why that is? Its because i didn't love myself. I wanted someone to fill that part of me, instead of doing it on my own. I thought i can do this.. but in the end i really couldn't i wasn't strong enough. I was so lost and so hurt. I have been the attention of a few guys in the past few months since i ended my previous relationship in the end of August. All of those guys were wonderful absolutely wonderful and i am so thankful for them.



About 2 weeks ago i was texting this guy, he was a good friend of one of my friends and she had set us up. He and I were both falling for each other and wanted to be together. Until one day out of the blue he txt me and said that he is going to be a dad, his ex girlfriend is pregnant. That was a huge huge slap in the face...... All i could think was wow... just wow... could things get any worse?



I met another amazing guy at the homecoming football game by total surprise. He was everything i was looking for... nice, sweet, caring, and i could go on, haha not to forget cute either. :D I thought oh yeah he is going to be the guy thats gonna love me, i can feel it. We talked for weeks, and he asked me out. Thats when i froze. And then came the gut feeling.



Why was this happening to me? I would ask myself. Because i didnt love myself! I wanted someone else to love me so then MAYBE i could love myself. I was SOOOO wrong!

Because you know what? GOD LOVES ME! Just the way i am. And he doesnt want me to change he just wants me to be me. He knows i will mess up, but he forgives. He knows i will wander far way, but yet he will lead me back to him.



I have been struggling lately finding God, but now i realize, he was always there, and he always will be. Even when things go bad, its all in his plan. And whatever he wants me to do, im gonna do it. Because his will is the best way. He puts people in my life for certain reasons, good or bad. And you know i am starting to be thankful for that. For that unconditional love.

So me searching for someone to love me will come with time, because God will bring him to me. I cant be out searching. My awesome youth minister told me, "Let God write your love story". And im gonna listen to that will all my heart, mind and soul. In 2009 God is going to be the center of my life, then i will have nothing to fear with the lord by my side.

God Bless,
Ashley

So much is happening!

Hello all!!
I am so sorry for my absence on this blog, but man life is busy.... Forgive me but I need to jump back into where I left off...

Counseling is going great, yes it is emotionally draining, but all of this stuff is something I have dealt with my entire life, so its not shocking all of the draining that is happening. What has really come out through my appointments is that there is only one true reason that these things are happening, and its because I am trying to fill a void, the void of not knowing that my dad really cared about me-and much more. I have always just tried to keep pushing through, like its no big deal, I'll just live with it and forget it, but for me, I cant seem to let it go because it is continuously effecting me in aspects of my life. I never ever thought in my wildest dreams that my dad would actually take responsibility for all the things that have happened in my life and try to work on them.... but I was WAY wrong.

Out of the blue dad and I just started talking and eventually all of it just came out....How he was sorry for doing all of that stuff to me. How he was sorry that he was the reason all of these guys have done things to me, because i was searching for some validation. & It went on and on and on... It was unbelievable!!! I couldnt believe it and it truly gives me hope that my dad and my relationship will get better with time. Its like he now see's it. No matter all that mom tried to tell him back when I was little, something just clicked. Its a wonderful answer to my prayers and I could not believe that all of it was happening! He wants to be a better dad which is something that i have always wanted and I am so blessed and I thank God for his leading hand in all of this. It was to the point that I gave it all to Him and look what he did with it :)

Please keep praying, right now I find this a crucial time for my dad and I, I can only hope that things will improve!,
God Bless,
Ashley

Just Found This...

Wow.... I was looking through things I have written on my facebook page from when I first joined facebook, this is something I wrote after I broke of a negative relationship..... Look at me! :)

Things I have realized


Sunday, August 17, 2008 at 7:21pm.Hey everyone! I just thought i would talk about something that i just realized. If you believe in something then you should stand up for it and not let anyone alter what you believe. What is important to you should be important to the people around you and the people you associate yourself with. So..... be strong, be smart, and follow your heart!

Isnt it amazing how I still felt the same way, but yet it is so hard to act on it?!
This definately goes to show when my change in my faith took place!! :)
 God Bless,
Ashley
.

A Teenager's View Of Heaven

Hello All! :)
I was sent this and it truly made me think of all the things I do.... worth the read! :)
God Bless,
Ashley





17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. "I wowed 'em, " he later told his father, Bruce. "It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the best thing I ever wrote.." It also was the last.




Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.



The Moores framed a copy of Biran's essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. "I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it," Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death. "I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him."



Brian's essay: The Room...



In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingley endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was the one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.



This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.



A file named "Friends" was next to the one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird "Books I have read, Lies I have told, comfort I have given, jokes I have laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I have done in my anger, things I have muttered under my breath at my parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.



Often there were many more cards than i expected. Sometims fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.



When I pulled out the file marked "TV shows I have watched," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, adn yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time i knew that file represented.



When I came to a file marked "lustful thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddreed at its detailed content.



I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One throught dominated in my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as tsteel when i tried to tear it.



Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.



And then I saw it...The title bore "People I have shared the Gospel with." The handle was brighter than those around it, seemed newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.



And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw HIM.



No, please not HIM. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.



He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.



Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back..He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.



He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

Facing My Fear's Update

Hello all!!
So I have decided to not really let anything stand in my way of blogging what I feel & my thoughts. Heck, Its MY blog.... I recieved a comment on my last post that made me second guess my blog and how I portrayed things. After re-reading my post and the comment I realized that I wasnt trying to down anyone or anything, and I feel that I didnt do that in my post at all. I understand that everyone has their own opinion, so instead of arguing I feel the need to pray for the person who commented, no hard feelings or anything, just wishing everyone to have peace :) Now saying that, it definately is hard, but heck I need to be honest with myself as well. So please give me in your prayers as I continue to be honest with myself.

From past posts you all have known that I have had to dig deep and find my way to counseling. Well I did have my first appt and I posted that on here but I really havent been posting too much about it because it was really hard to put into words.

Well last week I made a huge breakthrough. My counselor and I were listing out things that have hurt me and made me feel inadequate and non deserving and then we started listing people who have tributed to that.... & it was an all male list. I looked at the list and teared up because i never realized that I have always been trying to fill that void of not having a father daughter relationship growing up, and in turn with a lot of these issues I have been trying to find the "love" of a guy or a male friend. With most of them... it has ended up hurting me completely. Especailly this past summer.
I am working on not trying and trying to fill the void with guys. Not in a sexual or physical sense-nor has it never been but i long for that emotional connection and love.
What i really want to work on is letting God fully fill that void, and along with his son Jesus, be the only men I will ALWAYS depend on.

Please keep me in your prayers....this is a hard time for me.
God Bless,
Ashley

Thankful for Friends-Tribute Speech

This is a speech that I wrote for my Interpersonal Class final :)

After having one of the most amazing faith-filled experiences of my life for two weeks the summer before my junior year, this lead me to make life-long friendships with amazing people, no matter how far apart we all live. But throughout this experience one girl touched my heart. Her name is Kristi Taraba and she is from Rochester, Minnesota. Sadly this means that 130 miles are standing in our way, so we cannot see each other as much as we would like but yet we still maintain the relationship that we started at YTM/”God Camp”. The no matter how far apart we may be I know deep in my heart that she loves me, and I love her just the same. During our time together that summer at St. Johns University for this camp, an incredible friendship was formed instantly and I cannot even try to describe what happened during those two weeks but from what I can fathom, it was AMAZING. Kristi and I both really didn’t know what to expect at this camp, lovingly refered to as “God Camp”, but after a few days we found that we were always together, and it felt like we had known each other for many, many years.




We all go through hard times but it is really how we deal with them and who we surround ourselves with that really helps us through. I cannot begin to count the number of times Kristi has done that for me, even if we are going through the same thing and even with the things we have had to endure together. It has stretched from a simple “thinking of you” text message to inviting me to a MercyMe & Jeremy Camp concert at the State Fair and squealing when we see each other, as we run to give each other a huge hug. She is always there, a phone call or text message away, she lifts me up with words of encouragement, small gestures and continuous compliments. Some day’s I really wonder what I ever did to deserve to call an amazing young woman like her, one of my best friends.







High school can definitely be a rough time, but isn’t it truly interesting that the things that we have to deal with in life always seem so difficult, but after the fact we realize that God really gave us all the help we need, in the form of “angels”, and I call mine Kristi. It never ceases to amaze me how at the drop of a hat she is always there for me, no matter what time, day or night she is there, even if it is just to chat. She knows me so well and loves me for who I am. Kristi continuously strives to make me believe in myself and my abilities, and also to love myself for who I am, for that I truly thank her.



This angel has done so much for me, just by being a true friend. Someone I can rely on, and count on when the going gets tough and all the days in between. Kristi has made me grow and realize things that I never thought I could, she made me spread my wings and fly to places I never thought I would be able to be. Now I cannot wait to watch her spread her wings, more than she already has, and fly.

Ecumenism

Hello All!!
With request by a friend of mine & it is something that I definately come to face daily and I want to thank Jessie for giving me a little push to write this blog!

Jessie's Facebook post to me:
"I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on ecumenism and how you dialogue with people who might not believe the same things as you. That was always a challenge for me in high school, and I know it's something that a lot of young Catholics d...eal with.

Happy blogging! :D"

Ecumenism: now mainly refers to initiatives aimed at greater religious unity or cooperation

In all honesty it is one of the hardest things to be a Christian in Public School, let alone a devoute Catholic. Many people dont believe at all, and shy away from people who proclaim The Word Of God.
I have many friends that are of different denominations and it is something that it a very "touchy" subject, because no one wants to step on the other's toes. But for me it is definately hard because I try my best not to do this but it happens, I take any attack on the Catholic Church or anything against it to heart. Its hurtful because its my "home" my "base", but I try my best to defend the faith in a respectful but honest way. Actually I end up finding myself praying through the conversation with the person and asking for God's wisdom through it.

The Gospel reading at Masses this weekend was....

"I urge you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,

that all of you agree in what you say,
and that there be no divisions among you,
but that you be united in the same mind and in the same purpose.
For it has been reported to me about you, my brothers and sisters,
by Chloe’s people, that there are rivalries among you.
I mean that each of you is saying,
“I belong to Paul,” or “I belong to Apollos,”
or “I belong to Cephas,” or “I belong to Christ.”
Is Christ divided?
Was Paul crucified for you?
Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?
For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel,
and not with the wisdom of human eloquence,
so that the cross of Christ might not be emptied of its meaning."

God didnt mean for all of this division. It was Man who did not "like"/"agree" with the Church's Teachings and changed them for themselves to fit what they wanted. Upon this rock I will build my church is in the Bible, right in Peter :)

In all, it is super hard to "fight"/"defend" what you believe in. But it is sooo worth it! :)
God Bless,
Ashley

Man I need to UPDATE!!! :)

Hello Everyone! Life is CRAZY and I definately need to update you all since I did leave you at a little cliff hanger there!

Okay so Counseling...... started and I have had 2 appt since and I absolutely love my counselor! She is wonderful! There is a long road ahead with recent issues as well as my built up past, you if you could still pray for me that would be amazing!

Im on Christmas BREAK!! :) Woohooo!!! :) Off to Mass tomorrow, Grandma and Grandpa's and then home to open presents :) I am so excited to spend time with my family!! :) What's your favorite Christmas tradition?!

Sorry for the short post but I will leave you with some pictures as well as a youtube link to my new favorite song that is amazing!
God Bless,
Ashley

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaO73cx4pn4

Must Read!

Please read this story and watch the amazing video!!! :)
God Bless and Merry Christmas,
Ashley

While at the mall a couple of years ago, my then four year old nephew, Spencer, saw kids lined up to see Santa Claus. Having been taught as a toddler that Christmas is the holiday that Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus, he asked his mom, "where's the line to see Jesus"? My sister mentioned this to my dad, who immediately became inspired and jotted words down to a song in just a few minutes. After putting music to the words, and doing a quick recording at home, he received a great response from friends. He sent the song off to Nashville without much response, except for a Christian song writer who suggested adding a bridge at the end of the first chorus. My dad then asked if I wanted to record the song to see what we could do with it. I listened to the song, made a few changes to the words to make it flow better, and we headed to Shock City Studios. It was at the studio where Chris, owner and producer, rewrote the 2nd verse and part of the chorus... with goosebumps and emotions high, we were all hopeful and felt like we had something special. The demo was recorded in just under 2 hours and sent off again to Nashville... still no response. Then 2 weeks before Christmas last year, my cousins Greg and Robbie decided to do a video to see what we could accomplish on YouTube. The first day we had 3000 hits and it soared from there. We received e-mails, phone calls, Facebook messages from people all over asking for the music, CD's, iTunes, anything... we had nothin'. After a couple of meetings with Chris following the amazing response, we got serious. We headed back into the studio this past spring... this time with guitars, drums, bass, pianos, choirs... the real deal.... and here we are today. Getting iTunes set up, a website put together, and loving that thousands upon thousands of Christians have come together... remembering the true meaning of Christmas. Out of the mouths of babes come profound truths that many adults can not understand. Hopefully Spencer's observation will cause people all over to reflect on the love of Jesus, and that one day we will all stand in line to see Him. We are most thankful to our Heavenly Father to have this chance to share our music with you. Merry Christmas everyone.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OExXItDyWEY

The Pain that Plagues Me..

Sorry i have been gone...life is insane.... between working 2 jobs, school, youth ministry internship, church events, family, friends, babysitting & senior year, im surprised i havent gone insane yet! :)

But tonight I feel that i need to release something to all of you, as a release for myself & my way of asking for help, making this post something that my readers can hold me accountable for-dont worry I will explain...

This blog is meant to coninside with the blog i had written a few months ago.... If you havent read it yet please read it first, it will help things make more sense. Click here to go to the page.

For a good month or so I thought I had defeated the battle within myself... like I was able to deal with the demons that followed me, and I could do it all by myself. No talking about it, No counseling, i just felt it was done and I would be fine. Time heals our wounds right? Now I look back and think...man im an idiot..
Lately I have been having dreams about "him", with him trying to contact me, and going after me. For a few nights I would wake up in tears and was/still am so afraid. Also when i was skyping with an AMAZING guy friend of mine who had no idea about the situation and saw that "he" was online and wanted to make it a 3 way chat & i flipped out at him.... Fighting tears I just repeated.."Alex no i cant, please dont, just dont, just dont." It all came flooding back and he had absolutely no idea what was going on with me and was super worried. Alex felt horrible and i ened up spilling my guts to him about the situation...he was completely taken back and felt horrible that it was something i had to deal with.

During that time and for the rest of the night I was quiet and really withdrawn... my mind just kept replaying all the events that took place over and over in my head. Thats when everything started to spin out of control, I felt like it was my fault & I didnt know what to do. Its like i was back to square one.

Now i have realized that no matter how much the pain hurts, how much failure i feel for not being able to handle this myself, no matter how embarrassed I am.... I need to make my first counseling appt...ASAP...

Please keep me in your prayers as I do this and I need to be held to it. Its hard for me to say all of this but hey, this is my outlet, and I want to thank all of my readers for their support & please keep it up.

God and I have been drifting off and on, but he is the rock i need to cling to and I know that. I just need the will and dicipline. Please keep me in your prayers about that too...

God Bless,
Ashley

Motivation

Hello All,

Sooo I have decided to let my blog followers and reader in on a little aspect of my life.

Ever since I was younger I have always had a negative self image of myself and never thought I was pretty or skinny like "All the other girls". That statement has haunted me my whole life and I have decided to change that.
Since the end of June I have been training with my wonderful trainer Nicky :) She has taught me lots and continues to teach me more and more every time we meet.

Currently its hard for me to stay motivated to work out or do my exercises. I have been struggling with that and wanting my results faster and sooner. Ugh it really sucks to feel the way I do... Soooo im asking for you're prayers as I get back on track with my work outs etc.... The picture of the book I posted at the top is one wonderful book! I just bought it today along with a new food journal and its amazing :)

Hope all is well,
Ashley

Senior Year Update!

Hey all!

I know I have been semi-MIA lately and I apologize! I thought it was about time to update you all on my life, as crazy as it may seem!

So where do I start???

-Senior year has been going great, still coming to terms with my last year of high school! Crazy I know!
-I am doing pretty good in all of my classes, I do still come to a time where i dont want to do anything.... hello senioritis! haha :)
-I run and work out quite often lately-which is a big milestone for me! woohoo! :)
-I am loving my internship with my youth minister at church! Its fabulous! She has also been contracting and is officially having the baby soon, so i have been able to fill in for her as the "fill-in" youth minister! :)

-I have been accepted to Saint Mary's University in Winona :)



-I absolutely love St. Mary's and was able to stop back again to see it with students and it so peaceful! The staff, students and admissions people are sooo wonderful and nice! I can totally picture myself there, I am praying about it still but I feel it is the school for me :) :) I am so excited!
-Homecoming week was fantastic! I loved every min of it and had such a blast! :)

-I made Pop Group at school which is a group of singers who perform together :) I am so happy!
-Life has been good! A few stumbles along the way, but im getting through it, and should be starting counseling soon which is a good thing that i definately need.

Hope all is well with you all!
God Bless,
Ashley

Why Go To Church?

Hello All! :) I recieved this in an email and thought I should share it with you!
If you're spiritually alive, you're going to love this! If you're spiritually dead, you won't want to read it. If you're spiritually curious, there is still hope!






Why Go To Church?





A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday... "I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 203,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."





This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:





"I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this.. They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!" When you are DOWN to nothing... God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible! Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!





All right, now that you're done reading, send it on! I think everyone should read this! "When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus, could you get that for me?"



Amen!!

A Few "Tips"

POINTS ON HOW TO IMPROVE OUR LIFE


Personality:

1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment

3. Don't over do; keep your limits

4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does

5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip

6. Dream more while you are awake

7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..

8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present

11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you

12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

13. Smile and laugh more

14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.



Community:

15. Call your family often

16. Each day give something good to others

17. Forgive everyone for everything

18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6

19. Try to make at least three people smile each day

20. What other people think of you is none of your business

21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

22. Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.

23. GOD heals everything

24. Do the right things

25. However good or bad a situation is, it will change

26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up

27. The best is yet to come

28. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful

29. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it

30. If you know GOD you will always be joyfull. So, be joyful.



While you practice all of the above, share this knowledge with the people you love, people you school with,

people you play with, people you work with and people you live with.

Not only will it enrich YOUR life, but also that of those around you.

Remember,

GOOD THINGS ARE FOR US TO SHARE.....!!!!!!

Don't Worry About Failures - Never Quit, face it.
Have a great Sunday everyone! :)
God Bless,
Ashley

"Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me"

Hey all! :) Hope you enjoyed my updates while i was on my little trip and dont worry i have more pictures and information to post, but thats gonna have to wait :) I have a story to share with you all..

You all know about my recent trips to Milwaukee, Chicago and Winona. Downtown Chicago and aeras surrounding it are very heavily populated by people, as well as by people less fortunate than lots of us. Every where you go you see people asking for money, trying to sell things to get money, trying to find a ride and more. This honestly has been something i have seen when I have been in Minneapolis but it was WAY more obvious in Chicago and it honestly broke my heart every time... I have been raised in a society that puts a negative label on these kinds of people and the common response is to turn the other cheek and continue on our way, and here is where my story comes in.

My family and i were at the MN Twins game, vs the White Sox- the first game in Chicago last week, fantastic game, so cool! We left half way through the 8th inning due to how crazy traffic would be and we were still 40+ mins away from our hotel. All 5 of us were on a "high" from being the rival team beating the home team on their own "turf" and headed to our car, all smiley and happy with the beautiful Chicago skyline straight ahead of us. We finally got outside of the stadium and realized we went out a different gate than the one we came in and we were walking in the opposite direction of our car. So we stopped and my parents talked trying to get our bearings again so we could head to our car. While my brothers and i were just standing there i see this man in the distance, he is wearing a t-shirt and jeans, walking with a limp and he is crying. I try not to stare but my heart was just breaking for him... We stood there for awhile trying to figure out which direction to go, and then i turn around to find the man approaching me. At first my heart starts to race because i have never been aproached by someone like that, but then God settled my nerves to hear him out. The man approached me sobbing and holding up a  bus card, he looked at me and said "I just need 80 cents to get a ride on the bus.." and continues to cry. My heart speeds up and I dont know what to do. My mom looks at him and says "Sir, what did you say you need?" He responds "I just need 80 cents for the bus.." My mom turns to my dad and says "Give him a dollar", but i felt the man looking at me. So I turned to my parents and said "No I got it" and handed him the 80 cents, but when i did he lowered his head like he was ashamed, and told him to take care and be safe. He looks back at me and i glance at his shirt, he has a button on that said "Catholic" and some other words of an organization that i couldnt fully read. When he catches my eye contact he says "Thank you so much Miss, God Bless you, God Bless you..." Continues to cry and slowly walks toward the bus.

I am in absolute awe of his gratitude.

We start walking to the car and I loose it and start crying, it completely breaks my heart to see this happening in our world, but then i realize this.... "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:40

I pray for him on our way back to the hotel and realize this is something i wont forget.

Fast forward a few days, my college visits are done and im not sure where im going to go, or for that matter where God wants me to go. My grandparents were out of town and asked me to pick up their hour of Adoration on friday evening. I took it for them, go into Adoration and just talk to God, asking him to open me up  to what he has instore for me in my future, and what He wants of me. My mind drifts back to Chicago and DePaul, and then back to this man, I pray for him again. Sit back in the chair and close my eyes. I ask God to please show me what He wants me to know. I grab my Bible and open it to a random page without looking... and point to a verse..the verse was... "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

God is amazing, and has so many things in store for me, I cannot wait!

God Bless,
Ashley

"Even Though I Walk, Through The Valley, Of The Shadow Of Death, Your Perfect Love Is Casting Out Fear.."

Hey all,
In my post a few weeks ago called "Crazy Love" about my on going struggle to come out of a dry period in my faith life. I just wasnt feeling God, feeling his presence at all.

And now to my amazement.... He has shown me that He is right here with me :)

I hear Him and see Him in my friends all the time, and I am so grateful for God giving me wonderful friends. I see Him with the people and residents at my work. I have learned to see Him in the small things, and I now realize that everything that happens is because of Him. The words I speak are not my own, the things I do are not my own, they are all for the Glory of God. :)

So many things have been happening that have forced me to put my trust in God 100% and leave it that way, its challenging, but i feel reassurance through it. I've come to realize that making decisions, doesnt only revolve around me, it revolves around Christ's will for my life :)

"Ironically" enough my mom came home from her NYC trip yesterday, and she brought me something... They visited St. Patricks Cathedral and she brought me home this bookmark. The book mark is of Mother Teresa, and it has a medal of her on the top of it :) Immediately I loved it! Then I realized Mother Teresa's story.... for those of you who are unfamiliar with her story, she gave up everything and went among the poorest of poor to serve because God told her to do so. She was an amazing woman, but what most people dont know is just like you and I... she fell into spiritual darkness, for years on end, but she overcame it. Through all of this she continued to serve God and Glorify Him, even if she wasnt hearing Him or knowing He was there. :) Sooo cool! :)

"Holiness is not the luxury of the few, it is a simple duty, for you and for me"- Mother Teresa :)

God Bless,
Ashley

Leaps And Bounds!

Hey all!! :) So.... on this bright and sunny day, in the lovely month of July on the 26th day in the year 2010..... I made a LEAP! I have only made one College visit so far, and that was to the wonderful University Of St. Thomas, for an event that they were hosting for High School seniors :) I had a great time and really loved the campus! :) So today my leap was.....

I APPLIED! :)














Crazy right?!?!?! I cant believe this time has finally come in my life, and I just applied to my FIRST college! :) I paniced when i saw the confirmation that it had been sent, but then I got excited! :)


I also applied to........

As well! :)

Please pray for me in this new time in my life, that I follow God's will for my life and do something that glorify's him! :)

God Bless,

Ashley

My Desire

You want to be real, you want to be empty inside, You want to be someone laying down your pride, You want to be someone someday Then lay it all down before the king, You want to be whole, you want to have purpose inside, You want to have virtue and purify your mind, You want to be set free today Then lay it all down before the King, This is my desire, this is my return, This is my desire to be used by You, You want to be real, you want to be emptied inside, And I know my heart is to feel You near, And I know my life It's to do Your will This is my desire, this is my return, This is my desire, to be used by You Oo yea This is my desire, this is my desire To be used by You All my life I have seen Where You've taken me Beyond all I have hoped And there's more left unseen There's not much I can do to repay all You've done So I give my hands to use This is my desire, this is my return This is my desire, to be used by You Oo yea This is my desire, this is my desire To be used by You

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I Wanna Loose My Heart

Hey All! :) Man I have been feeling the need to blog more, and I find it fun now that i have the time! haha :)

Thank you everyone who has commented on my previous post, i really appreciate it! Please continue to comment with any ideas you may have! :)

I have been thinking about what all has been happening in my life, and after reading my friend Kami's blog it helped inspire me to write this post.

Being straight forward and flat out..... I WANNA LOOSE MY HEART! Not to some random guy but to Christ! I wanna be totally wrapped up in God, my faith and the church. Living life to the fullest, but living for HIM!

I am continuing to write in my prayer journal, pray more, and dive into scripture which is great. But i am hoping to loose my heart in Christ as I dive deeper! :) :) Oh my goodness i am so excited, I really hope i can do it! Not sure how but I want to! :)

Any suggestions or tips?? Please let me know! :)
God Bless,
Ashley :)