Hey All! So sorry for the lack of posting, school is finally out and i have some time to relax... lol who am I kidding?!?!?
I need to get something off my chest so please bare with me through this....
Lately I have been bogged down with comments/insults/asumptions/and judgements from people around me at school and in life. People who do not look past what is visible to the eye, people who feel that they should make rude comments about others, and most importantly people who have no idea what they are talking about but still decide to make comments. Dealing with all of this on a daily basis is SO hard, and no easy to look past.
Since my boyfriend and i have started dating, people feel the need to be rude. Flat out, rude, mostly to him. Knowing this it hurts me beacuse I dont want him to have to deal with that because of me, its truly horrible. People have approached him saying:
"Your dating her? Isnt she fat and ugly?"-NO LIE
"Well he is just takin' one for the team, so none of us would have to date someone like her"
"Your dating WHO!?"
*I could continue but in all honest i dont want to*
Hearing those things hurts me, and infuriates my boyfriend.
As for me, I dont want him to have to deal with that because of me, who I am, what I look like etc. I feel that he shouldnt have to deal with all of that crap, because he is dating me. It really hurts me inside to hear these things, but it almost hurts worse for me to know that he has to deal with it, almost daily.
Readers, you know how insecure I am about myself, and yes its embarrassing to admit that, but I am going to be honest. I feel like I can never be good enough, look pretty enough, be thin enough, be smart enough, and the list goes on.
But my main point of this post is to tell you that....this whole situation bothers me to no end! I DO NOT understand why people feel the need to judge others, I DO NOT understand why people feel the need to be so incredibly hurtful, and I DO NOT understand why people feel the need to impose and try and alter other people's happiness. Its like with anything you do in life people are always going to stick their noses where they dont belong... But here's a NEWSFLASH!
*I AM HAPPY with Billy!
*Our Relationship is built upon Church, Respect, Understanding and God
*We know the TRUTH.
And still no matter how much i try to not let this whole situation bother me it still does....but right now is where I lean on God, and HIS TRUTH. His Will for my/our life(ves) is still unknown, but it is great! Please pray that I can find strength in this situation and stop being so... ANNOYED!
God Bless,
Ashley
Showing posts with label Billy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Billy. Show all posts
June 5, 2010
May 29, 2010
Love The Life You Live
Today i surprised my boyfriend with a picnic in the park, with all of his favorite foods :) He had no idea and was soo shocked! :) Fun day! :)
God Bless,
Ashley
May 22, 2010
When God Has Different Plans
Hey all! :) Sorry for not posting in such a long time, life is CrAzY! I continuiously tell my mom how im hardly home and she seems to agree with me on that one!
So many people have been wanting to hear "The Story", well if you have absolutley no clue what I am talking about, if you are not friends with me on facebook or in "Real Life", sit tight and be ready for story time!
I am a Junior and this year is my first year of throwing Shot Put and Discus! I love it sooo much! I am so happy when i am around all my guy and girl throwers, its so great! Throughout the season our team of throwers becomes very very close. We all really get to know each other, from the freshman all the way to seniors and even our coach Jackie! During this time i was just doing my thing at practice, having fun with everyone else there, and trying my best to excell at throwing. I became close with one freshman boy on the throwing team. We would joke, laugh and talk lots during practice, over facebook, texting, and after practice and we got along really well. I knew he was having problems with his girlfriend at the time and he really needed someone to hear him out about all of it, so I was there. We talked about it lots, and i tried my best to give him as much advice as I could. One saturday night things got really out of hand and he was so down in the dumps. So I facebook messaged him and asked him if he wanted to get out, go talk or something and he asked me to come over and sit outside and talk, so thats what i did. On my way over to his house I just prayed that God would just give me the words. I met his brothers who were hillarious and I was over there for 2 1/2 hours just talking and trying my best to help. When i was about to leave he walked me out to my car and we stood there and talked for awhile. He opened up to me about so many things that i never would have guessed, and he told me about his struggles with Faith and Church. He wanted so badly to get back to where he was with God, and to go back to himself but he didnt know how. While he told me all of this all i could do was look at him and pray for him, pray that God shows him the way, or gives me the words to help. In all honesty I do not remember a lot of what i said to him, the Holy Spirit just controlled my words and told him what God wanted him to hear. It was beyond amazing! We hugged and then i was on my way home. Pretty happy about being able to do God's will with him working through me! When i left i was determined to not become attached to another guy, i wasnt going to attach myself to him, i wasnt going to let myself fall for him, but God had different plans....
We talked continuously for a week or two, his relationship had ended and it was pretty rocky, he needed a friend. I tried my best to be there for him as much as I could, trying to get him through all of this. We spent lots of time together its actually pretty funny! :) We were talking one night and randomly out of the blue he said to me... "Ashley I have to tell you something, but i just dont want it to be ackward or weird since we are friends ya know?" After hearing this i tenativly replied "You can tell me, it wont be wierd. :)" He responded "I kinda like you.... :)" Instantly my jaw dropped and my heart started to race. I told him that there was an attraction but I wasnt 100% sure. We continued to talk and I prayed about the whole thing. After 5pm mass one saturday night, him and his brother invited me over to have a bonfire with them. I went over after having dinner with my best friend and we talked, i met his brother's girlfriend and we all had a good time. Eventually it was time for me to go, he walked me out to my car again, and we continued to talk. We talked about so much, and how he started reading the Bible again, how he feels closer to Christ and how he wants to continue to change for the better. We talked about both of our pasts, how I was afraid of another relationship and how he longed for a relationship built on respect, and centered around Christ, just like I did. Me on the verge of tears felt two arms around me, I fought back the tears and he just sat there with me, telling me it was going to be okay. We continued to talk after I composed myself and it just felt normal and right. That night he asked me to be his girlfriend, i froze. My body started to shake, my heart pounded and all of a sudden, i couldnt do it anymore. My guards went up and the sirens went off, leaving me shocked. He asked me if I was okay. I told him that i just couldnt, i was afraid and all he did was hug me and tell me it was going to be okay. Then i left. Got in my car and started to drive away, on my way home, I cried...
I didnt get much sleep that night but surprisingly i was up and awake, ready for work the next morning. Sitting at work all i could do was think of how he made me feel, how his values lined up with mine, and sooo much more. I finally got up enough guts to write him a letter, explaining-more in depth, what happened with me and how i felt. We corresponded about the email for awhile, he finally knew that my feelings for him were mutual.
We continued to be friends, still talking and knowing the feelings we had for each other. I asked him if his offer for me to be his girlfriend still stood, and he repiled with a wonderful "Absolutley". After lots of praying and talking I made up my mind, and as of Tuesday May 11th we became official!
Whew thats a long story!!!
It has not been the easiest route as you can tell, but it is so worth it!
Billy is absolutley amazing, he respects me, he respects and agrees with my values, We believe in the same things, he is CATHOLIC!-WOOOOHOOO! (all of you know how I have been longing for that), and he is soo much more! :) I am so blessed to have him in my life, beacuse God willed it :)
So there you go! :) Our Story! :)
God Bless,
Ashley
So many people have been wanting to hear "The Story", well if you have absolutley no clue what I am talking about, if you are not friends with me on facebook or in "Real Life", sit tight and be ready for story time!
I am a Junior and this year is my first year of throwing Shot Put and Discus! I love it sooo much! I am so happy when i am around all my guy and girl throwers, its so great! Throughout the season our team of throwers becomes very very close. We all really get to know each other, from the freshman all the way to seniors and even our coach Jackie! During this time i was just doing my thing at practice, having fun with everyone else there, and trying my best to excell at throwing. I became close with one freshman boy on the throwing team. We would joke, laugh and talk lots during practice, over facebook, texting, and after practice and we got along really well. I knew he was having problems with his girlfriend at the time and he really needed someone to hear him out about all of it, so I was there. We talked about it lots, and i tried my best to give him as much advice as I could. One saturday night things got really out of hand and he was so down in the dumps. So I facebook messaged him and asked him if he wanted to get out, go talk or something and he asked me to come over and sit outside and talk, so thats what i did. On my way over to his house I just prayed that God would just give me the words. I met his brothers who were hillarious and I was over there for 2 1/2 hours just talking and trying my best to help. When i was about to leave he walked me out to my car and we stood there and talked for awhile. He opened up to me about so many things that i never would have guessed, and he told me about his struggles with Faith and Church. He wanted so badly to get back to where he was with God, and to go back to himself but he didnt know how. While he told me all of this all i could do was look at him and pray for him, pray that God shows him the way, or gives me the words to help. In all honesty I do not remember a lot of what i said to him, the Holy Spirit just controlled my words and told him what God wanted him to hear. It was beyond amazing! We hugged and then i was on my way home. Pretty happy about being able to do God's will with him working through me! When i left i was determined to not become attached to another guy, i wasnt going to attach myself to him, i wasnt going to let myself fall for him, but God had different plans....
We talked continuously for a week or two, his relationship had ended and it was pretty rocky, he needed a friend. I tried my best to be there for him as much as I could, trying to get him through all of this. We spent lots of time together its actually pretty funny! :) We were talking one night and randomly out of the blue he said to me... "Ashley I have to tell you something, but i just dont want it to be ackward or weird since we are friends ya know?" After hearing this i tenativly replied "You can tell me, it wont be wierd. :)" He responded "I kinda like you.... :)" Instantly my jaw dropped and my heart started to race. I told him that there was an attraction but I wasnt 100% sure. We continued to talk and I prayed about the whole thing. After 5pm mass one saturday night, him and his brother invited me over to have a bonfire with them. I went over after having dinner with my best friend and we talked, i met his brother's girlfriend and we all had a good time. Eventually it was time for me to go, he walked me out to my car again, and we continued to talk. We talked about so much, and how he started reading the Bible again, how he feels closer to Christ and how he wants to continue to change for the better. We talked about both of our pasts, how I was afraid of another relationship and how he longed for a relationship built on respect, and centered around Christ, just like I did. Me on the verge of tears felt two arms around me, I fought back the tears and he just sat there with me, telling me it was going to be okay. We continued to talk after I composed myself and it just felt normal and right. That night he asked me to be his girlfriend, i froze. My body started to shake, my heart pounded and all of a sudden, i couldnt do it anymore. My guards went up and the sirens went off, leaving me shocked. He asked me if I was okay. I told him that i just couldnt, i was afraid and all he did was hug me and tell me it was going to be okay. Then i left. Got in my car and started to drive away, on my way home, I cried...
I didnt get much sleep that night but surprisingly i was up and awake, ready for work the next morning. Sitting at work all i could do was think of how he made me feel, how his values lined up with mine, and sooo much more. I finally got up enough guts to write him a letter, explaining-more in depth, what happened with me and how i felt. We corresponded about the email for awhile, he finally knew that my feelings for him were mutual.
We continued to be friends, still talking and knowing the feelings we had for each other. I asked him if his offer for me to be his girlfriend still stood, and he repiled with a wonderful "Absolutley". After lots of praying and talking I made up my mind, and as of Tuesday May 11th we became official!
Whew thats a long story!!!
It has not been the easiest route as you can tell, but it is so worth it!
Billy is absolutley amazing, he respects me, he respects and agrees with my values, We believe in the same things, he is CATHOLIC!-WOOOOHOOO! (all of you know how I have been longing for that), and he is soo much more! :) I am so blessed to have him in my life, beacuse God willed it :)
So there you go! :) Our Story! :)
God Bless,
Ashley
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